Good Golly Miss Molly!

Holy fence post, December sucks. If you've been around the Nerf Community the last month or so, you'll realize things are dead, just damn dead. I figure it must be due to the weather or that the holiday season is coming up. I know for college students it's finals time and that there are other stresses that go along with it. My excuse? I work at an investment bank over Christmas.

I've been thinking about the firing properties of a Nerf gun compared to real life weapons. I know we do a lot of thinking about guns. I know most of my day is taken up by thinking about them in all shapes and sizes. They're fun, and I think I've figured out why. First off they're heavy, loud and expensive which all fall under the "kick ass" category. I know Ipods and handheld stuff is popular right now, but give me something that weighs 40 lbs, makes lots and lots of noise and allows me to pine after it in lust for three months over any of these sissy computer bullshit perpetuals you people buy. If only you all knew just how much they really cost to make. Guns are cool, and you can't keep your whinny emo music on it, pussy.

So I'll be fair and say that it's tempting to try to make Nerf guns simulate reality. Hell I still have to have ten minutes of bathroom "alone time" after I see a Tippman A5 decked out like an M4. It's cool looking. However, attempting to simulate real weapons with Nerf guns is just as useless as that decked out A5 to a normal paintball player. We all need to face facts that a Nerf gun shoots nothing like a real gun, and is in no way similar. No matter how much we attempt to get there, it will never happen. Instead of working to try to makes guns into what you want them to be, why not spend that time working to improve the guns performance and your own actions when using the gun.

Lets put this into perspective for a second. Take the AT2k. Excellent weapon, one of the best, but I see all these people trying to add stocks to it. Why? It doesn't kick (not even forward), it's the lightest gun you can use, and it really shouldn't be hard to stabilize. If your having problems aiming with it, your probably not using it right. I've heard more whining about the size of the gun, while I who have massive banana hands have found a way to wield it comfortably and effectively.

Quick Tutorial:

Step 1: Stop whining pussy!

Step 2: Hold your weak hand out in front of you with your palm face up.

Step 3: take the gun and place the bottom of the gun (the area under the pump and in front of the handle), this hand will never leave that spot, ever.

Step 4: With your dominate hand, pump the gun. Make sure your weak hand does not leave where you put it.

Step 5: Gently grip the handle with your dominate hand, aim and pull the trigger

I'll get to aiming in a second. What your doing here is using your weak hand to hold and stabilize the gun, rather then allowing your dominate hand which is used to grip the handle (gently) and pull the trigger. Really all you want to use your dominate hand for is using the trigger and pumping. Never ever take your weak hand from the gun. This way, you can always stabilize and not have to worry about the small handle. Don't believe me? Give it a try and ask anyone at the DC wars if my way works.

Aiming. Now like I said, most people don't know how to aim a Nerf gun. You may be able to hit a cup from about 20 feet off while it's sitting still, but when you get on the field and actually have to shoot something, most people don't know their trigger finger from their asshole. First off, lock your elbows to your sides. and bring the gun high up right below your chin. Now peer over the gun to aim. Problem with a 2k is that it will never be spring gun accurate. Your always going to get a crazy shot and your always going to get different consistencies of fire. Anyone who says differently is just being an elitist ass. The difference is the amount of air and intesity greatly varies. Unlike spring guns where almost every shot is consistant. This isn't bad, but it means when aiming the thing, your going to have to leave some room for error, which is fine cause you have three other shots. So while peering over the gun, use the entire turret to help you aim. There's no magic to this, you just have to spend some time shooting the gun to see where the darts will hit in comparison to what you were looking at while aiming. Some use the top barrel, I personally find it's easier to think of the entire turret as one big barrel, that way you'll be able to see that the dart could really hit anywhere in that area. Also, while aiming at another player, I wouldn't try shooting for limbs. Leave this gun to torso and headshots, everything else, your going to be praying.

So as you can see, Nerf doesn't fire like rifles. You really just have to fire your gun a bunch to know the consistency of your accuracy and firing potential. Seeing as every modified gun is a little different, it's important to really give yourself some time if you want to be truly successful.

I have to give Uriel some credit because much of this was discussed with him last night, so for today, he's pretty much been my muse. Spelling and grammar are probably horrible, if it's really bad, email me @ alhurst@gmail.com and I'll do my best to fix it up. I figure you can probably figure out at least what I'm saying on your on.

Talio.

No girls aloud!....wait.

Alright guys, I asked Karma to write this up after having a little discussion with my good friend Groove, so I have to give him mad props for thinking up the idea. The idea is how interesting would it be to get some honest thoughts about what it's like to be a female nerfer. They are few and far between, but none has had the resilance as BK, and I'd love to see her to be one of the first perminent members on this blog. So let me stop and let her use her own words.

" As most of you know I’m the only hardcore female nerfer in the nerfing community. With that come advantages and disadvantages. When I had first heard about nerf from Suave, I thought he was joking. Until one day when Suave and JC finally got me to nerf. What can I say, I liked it, I liked it a lot. The ability to shoot your friends and them be ok with it was a blessing from god. Not only that, but I also really loved the fact that I could make my own ammo, build my own guns, and put a little personality and touch in every gun that I modded. As for me being the only girl so far, that’s not unusual for me. It isn’t easy I’ll tell you that.
When I first started out nerfing it was just with the people here in Alabama, so I didn’t feel quite as much of the sexiest tension like I felt when I came to NHQ. I honestly wanted to get involved in the community, but I also knew that it would hard, with me being a girl, to get the respect that I wanted. I remember when people started finding out that I was a girl. I didn’t want to rub it in anyone’s face, but I also wanted people to know that,"Hey, I’m a girl and I can be taken seriously as well." Unfortunately, I stayed in the "off topic" where I was more comfortable. At that point I still didn’t know a lot about modding and homemades, so I would go, read, learn, and apply what I had learned quietly. Because I didn’t state what I had leaned to the community, I at first came across as a dizzy, dumb, female who was interested because there where a bunch of guys. That just naturally came with the fact that everyone found out that I was a girl…because no girl had ever attempted to nerf and be as good or BETTER then the boys. I wanted to change all of that. So, I finally came out of my shell a little, but that came with a price.
Some of you guys have PMed or AIMed me asking me why I haven’t posted a picture of myself. Here is why. In the first yearbook, JC had posted a picture of me, with my consent. Well, ATB had taken that picture and photoshoped some sexual jokes on my t-shirt. I was taken back; here I had thought that I had some respect established. Finally taking me somewhat seriously…and that is what they really thought about me…a “nerf bunny”, like one of those girls you see in the paintball magazines that are hardly wearing any cloths and have probably never gotten shot before. I didn’t want to be like that. I didn’t want to be the “Poster Girl” of nerf. I just wanted to Nerf, and be thought of as a Nerfer, not a “Nerf Poster Girl”.
After everything was taken care of, he apologized and we had moved on. I started taking a more serious roll. Engaging in more intelligent and intellectual topics. Showing the smarter, more mature side to me. Also, at this time, I personally had had some major growth in maturity. So I scored points with the older crowed with my endless yearning for knowledge; And for my patience and ability to close arguments. Well, some just like the fact that I could “own” people, haha.
So everything in little BK’s world was ok, right? WRONG! Once again, the male race proved how much of a horny ass it could be. When a dude by the name of Forgotten Hero had come back to the forums after being banned for reason that aren’t important right now. Got my cell number and called me. That wouldn’t have been so bad if it wasn’t for the fact that he had made some bad sexual remarks about me in his sig. on NHQ. The only people to this day who know what he had said were Talio and Spanky. They said that they would not tell me what it was for my sake. So I left it at that, and a big thanks to Talio and Spanky for looking out for me.
Ok, I’ve explained that not only have I had to put up with the fact that guys are jerks, but I haven’t explained the hardship of having to prove myself, a girl, in game dominated by boys. So there was an added pressure. I felt like I was being watched closely, not because the guys where perverts, but because some felt that I wouldn’t be able to take the game as serious as the guys that I would somehow change it. Well I hope that I have proved them wrong, because the last thing I wanted was to be seen as doing is “sexing up nerf”. I hope that most of you by now have realized that I’m not into nerf because my boyfriend plays, or I wanted to get some hot guys…But that I truly love the game and that I just want to be part of the community. And get the respect I have worked hard for.
I know that there have been some other females that have come onto the board. But they haven’t stayed long. And they won’t, because most girls only do what the guys do for the guys. I do what guys do because I like to do what the guys do. So if you are hoping that I’ll leave and everything will get back the “All boy Club”…Better think again, Because BK’s not going anywhere. This may surprise some of you, but I love nerf, I love the Old School ways of nerf. And I appreciate those who have taught me the ways of this great game.
Nerf On my fellow Nerfers, Nerf On."

-Bad Karma, Dec. 2004

Playa's they play, and hustla's they hustle.

So with the coming of the holiday season, and a lot of really bad ass stuff in stores that are nerf related I wanted to take this opportunity to charge the community with a goal. What I want to see before then end of the month for everyone in some way, no matter how big or how small, find a way to nerf, if even for just an hour.

Lets face it people, Nerf might not be dying, but the general groups of guys who still play are falling significantly, day by day. I'm not saying you have to host Armageddon, or host anything, I'm just telling you to get a couple of nitefinders, set some rules, and shoot each other. There's a reason we spend these god awful ammounts of time making nerf guns, and while again, I have to accept that there is a group of people who label themselves nerfers because they put some plumbing supplies on their guns, it's no reason why we can't take these things we work so hard on, get one or two buddies together and actually play.

I know it's cold, suck it up pussies. Cold weather is better and you'll feel good putting the xbox controller down for a half hour to get some fresh air. I know everyone is cramped for time around the holidays, but all you have to do, is pick up a gun and shoot a buddy with it, and have him shoot back at you. Have a good time with it. There's lots of cool stuff in the stores right now, and I have to give some personal publicity to my hommie Jangadance for making this nuggest of gold.

http://www.nerfhq.com/article_view.php?p=108252

So lets see some of you ask for this stuff for christmas, and before you even touch the internals or a screw driver, just dick around and shoot your buddy. If he has a good time, mod them, and shoot each other some more. Regaurdless, I leave you with the words of Vaccanelli himself....

"JUST SHOOT SOMETHING DAMN IT!"

Talio.

Thanksgiving war damage report - Old school like a mother

So last Saturday was the NJ spring war, and besides a few snags here and there, coupled with the laziness that always seems to surround one or two members of the LCM, I had a really good time. Evil did a pretty good job putting together this thing, and ran it well. Thanks to him and the LCM for showing up.

As usually, the day was pretty much a pistolfest. The LCM seem to really be in love with these things, and while I do enjoy them, one more and I would have been begging for the day to end. It's more of a personal thing, I worked hard on my primary for this war, and we ended up doing only about half the day with primaries. I didn't really bitch about it, because the way I see it, it's their war, and I have no right to tell them how to run it. I have to face facts where if I ever get to a war where we run things differently, it's either on the Horsemen's field (which I throughly enjoy) or I'm running it (which I don't enjoy as much). All in All the parks open area's were actually set up pretty well for pistols...but anywhere they wanted to play primaries looked like Vietnam in the fall. I ended up using paintball tactics most of the day. Again, not saying any of this in spite...just not the way I like to do things.

None the less I had a good time. I ended up buying a pack of zero's from Hersh who is a dart pumping machine. All the LCM guys buy those things up cause it means they don't have to take two hours out of thier busy schedules and do something that might make their war run better. So the reason I bought the zero's is because people aren't very honest about whose darts they have at the Ocean County foam fests, and I used them as barder to get back my darts that would actually fire out of my guns.

Even after all this, my opinion of the LCM grew for some and lessened for others. One I will point out is that for the first time I got along with Mantis all day long. I found out that as long as I'm a little more relaxed and not running things (because that just naturally makes me more annoyed), he's a good guy. I never thought poorly of him, we just rubbed each other the wrong way.

I do want to say one thing though I very much disagree with. Arguements. First off, their fucking stupid. Second of all, if your going to argue and get shot while your argueing, shut the fuck up and take it like a man. I really hate this "time out" thing where if something does go in a players way, he can just stop and expect not to get hit. Well, guess what? It doesn't really work that way...I've argued and been hit, and I wasn't a whinny ass about it, I took the hit and moved on with my life.

Now for the good shit that happened. First off, I was digging the old school feel. I was scoffed at many times, but did better with it then I did with the old crossbow. The only times I flat out missed I deserved to, and the other times were miss fires from shitty darts. The crossbow performed well, and my LNL did even better.

We did a siege round that wasn't bad, except we got cut short, and it seemed like the guys on the playground were getting taken down quick due to the massive wooden fence surrounding it, so next time, we might need to refine the rules a bit. No cops showed which was a miricale considering how many people were around.

All in all, old school was a sucess, and I urge more of you to give it a shot. Sooner or later I'll post pictures of my guns and some stuff I did to them. In the mean time, remember to keep it tuned here, to the first and original Nerf Blog. I'm looking to get some new writers on our staff and possibly some new artwork.

Talio.