Saturday, December 18, 2004

Good Golly Miss Molly!

Holy fence post, December sucks. If you've been around the Nerf Community the last month or so, you'll realize things are dead, just damn dead. I figure it must be due to the weather or that the holiday season is coming up. I know for college students it's finals time and that there are other stresses that go along with it. My excuse? I work at an investment bank over Christmas.

I've been thinking about the firing properties of a Nerf gun compared to real life weapons. I know we do a lot of thinking about guns. I know most of my day is taken up by thinking about them in all shapes and sizes. They're fun, and I think I've figured out why. First off they're heavy, loud and expensive which all fall under the "kick ass" category. I know Ipods and handheld stuff is popular right now, but give me something that weighs 40 lbs, makes lots and lots of noise and allows me to pine after it in lust for three months over any of these sissy computer bullshit perpetuals you people buy. If only you all knew just how much they really cost to make. Guns are cool, and you can't keep your whinny emo music on it, pussy.

So I'll be fair and say that it's tempting to try to make Nerf guns simulate reality. Hell I still have to have ten minutes of bathroom "alone time" after I see a Tippman A5 decked out like an M4. It's cool looking. However, attempting to simulate real weapons with Nerf guns is just as useless as that decked out A5 to a normal paintball player. We all need to face facts that a Nerf gun shoots nothing like a real gun, and is in no way similar. No matter how much we attempt to get there, it will never happen. Instead of working to try to makes guns into what you want them to be, why not spend that time working to improve the guns performance and your own actions when using the gun.

Lets put this into perspective for a second. Take the AT2k. Excellent weapon, one of the best, but I see all these people trying to add stocks to it. Why? It doesn't kick (not even forward), it's the lightest gun you can use, and it really shouldn't be hard to stabilize. If your having problems aiming with it, your probably not using it right. I've heard more whining about the size of the gun, while I who have massive banana hands have found a way to wield it comfortably and effectively.

Quick Tutorial:

Step 1: Stop whining pussy!

Step 2: Hold your weak hand out in front of you with your palm face up.

Step 3: take the gun and place the bottom of the gun (the area under the pump and in front of the handle), this hand will never leave that spot, ever.

Step 4: With your dominate hand, pump the gun. Make sure your weak hand does not leave where you put it.

Step 5: Gently grip the handle with your dominate hand, aim and pull the trigger

I'll get to aiming in a second. What your doing here is using your weak hand to hold and stabilize the gun, rather then allowing your dominate hand which is used to grip the handle (gently) and pull the trigger. Really all you want to use your dominate hand for is using the trigger and pumping. Never ever take your weak hand from the gun. This way, you can always stabilize and not have to worry about the small handle. Don't believe me? Give it a try and ask anyone at the DC wars if my way works.

Aiming. Now like I said, most people don't know how to aim a Nerf gun. You may be able to hit a cup from about 20 feet off while it's sitting still, but when you get on the field and actually have to shoot something, most people don't know their trigger finger from their asshole. First off, lock your elbows to your sides. and bring the gun high up right below your chin. Now peer over the gun to aim. Problem with a 2k is that it will never be spring gun accurate. Your always going to get a crazy shot and your always going to get different consistencies of fire. Anyone who says differently is just being an elitist ass. The difference is the amount of air and intesity greatly varies. Unlike spring guns where almost every shot is consistant. This isn't bad, but it means when aiming the thing, your going to have to leave some room for error, which is fine cause you have three other shots. So while peering over the gun, use the entire turret to help you aim. There's no magic to this, you just have to spend some time shooting the gun to see where the darts will hit in comparison to what you were looking at while aiming. Some use the top barrel, I personally find it's easier to think of the entire turret as one big barrel, that way you'll be able to see that the dart could really hit anywhere in that area. Also, while aiming at another player, I wouldn't try shooting for limbs. Leave this gun to torso and headshots, everything else, your going to be praying.

So as you can see, Nerf doesn't fire like rifles. You really just have to fire your gun a bunch to know the consistency of your accuracy and firing potential. Seeing as every modified gun is a little different, it's important to really give yourself some time if you want to be truly successful.

I have to give Uriel some credit because much of this was discussed with him last night, so for today, he's pretty much been my muse. Spelling and grammar are probably horrible, if it's really bad, email me @ and I'll do my best to fix it up. I figure you can probably figure out at least what I'm saying on your on.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where are you when you're needed most, Talio?

Right now on the NHQ boards there is, what I can only explain, a mass registration of new users (I won't call them nOObs--yet), many whom have posted more in two weeks than I have in a whole year, and more often than not it's in reference to this exact topic; the desire to make Nerf blasters replicate real firearms, probably the result of too many video games (here I go again on the anti-gamer thing) and the desire to play out their HALO fantasies in real time.

Aside from the frustration of mulling through numerous AIM-chat style posting, the constant talk of military or police-styled tactics and such makes the forum dedicated to foam-firing fun that much harder to bear.

On the subject of aiming; it's important to develop the right habits to make our shots consistent, and that's why I'm an advocate of shooting cups, cans, whatever, as often as time permits. The same goes with my stock class markers; I have developed my snap-shooting skills from cover by plinking a stationary target. Again. And again. And again. From any and all ranges. Even as close as 10 feet. Why? To develop the habits and disciplines to make snap-shooting almost instictive. It costs alot (at least 1000 balls and four cases of 12 gram CO2s), but it's merely the investment one makes to have and maintain confidence on the field (even the rec ball field). I believe the same investment of time with Nerf (resources are reusable so cost isn't a big issue) would give the same result.

Consistency is key. I could give a rat's butt about tactics patterns (aside from the obvious flanking type maneuvers that all shooting type games employ), or camouflage, or trying to make a damn 500 foot range Super Soaker "sniper rifle". Consistency and communication are the components of a winning team, whether they use military tactics or just romp on the field. You yourself had said it toward the end of your rant.

Hell, I don't know why I posted this comment; I'm perhaps just peeved that no one was doing anything about the boards. Fortunately, there's only a week and a half more of Christmas break, and many will go back to school. Hopefully that will stabilize things a bit.

Nerf on, duder.


1:16 PM  

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