Thursday, December 02, 2010

Guess what, fuckers? I'm back and I'm making a new post, cause I've got shit to say. You see the funny part is that I read over my past articles and I remember that guy fondly. The guy who played with Supertechs without knowing they'd be worth millions in the future and, well, dollar store guns. That's all we had. You kids don't understand how it was. When I was a kid, Nerf guns were new. Nobody really had toy guns that really shot stuff out of them. It was badass. I got a sharpshooter and it was the coolest god damn thing I had ever seen. My neighbor got a Bow and Arrow right as that shitty early 90's Robin Hood came out. Shooting those arrows and making them stick in the chain link fence made you feel like fucking Link. And not the link with a Wikipedia plot page longer than my dick. I'm talking about the, "You wake up in a field with no recollection" and use you're fucking imagination to figure out what the fuck is going on Link. I mean seriously, have one of you kids played the swing at air game? The game I know every kid my age played? Where a wiffle bat was Leonardo's sword or a toy gun was Road Block's machine gun? Then you can't understand what those original days of Nerf were like for us "old guys".

Not to belittle you. Today is fucking amazing. Call of Duty is the god damn coolest thing I've ever seen in my whole life. It's everything I dreamed of while I wasted away hours and hours of my life on Dark Forces. If my childhood self could have had a peak into what the future was going to hold for me, it would like be getting raped by my uncle. I wouldn't have been able to deal with it and had spent the rest of my life with conflicted sexual thoughts (not that this doesn't exist in me already). My horrific point is, you kids have it awesome. Not easy...cause this shit ain't easy, but awesome. So make your Youtube videos and call each other fags, cause that's what you're supposed to do (even though it will totally get you banned). But when it comes to Nerf, shit is changing, boy.

Modified Nerf was down right rudimentary compared to this shit. I remember looking at a 1500 with a PVC coupler on the end of it and thought it was fucking genius. I saw the Stefan and serious felt like a fucking moron for not thinking it up. That simple, basic shit today that is almost downright taken for granted was pure magic when I started in 2003. Now we've got homemades made out of machine polycarbonite that can fire faster and more accurately then anything I could have ever imagined. I am living in my childhood sci-fi world. And it's fucking amazing. It all changed for me when I saw the hopper. I realized that this was something I had never imagined. I saw it the first time and didn't believe it would work. It was pure magic to me and to a point, still is. And there's not much in my world anymore that's magic. I'm a very analytical person and I believe in trying to understand and grasp the things that I use. But that fucking hopper is magic.

So lets rewind the clock a little bit. I had a long lapse from Nerf and came back to a very different world with a very different mindset. Nerf was once a serious escape for me. My Father died shortly after I joined Nerf Haven. Suddenly I found myself around like minded people. People who loved something silly as dearly as I did. That was easy to escape into, but ultimately didn't bring much meaning. I faded out after a while and focused on real life, getting my priorities in order. Once I had felt myself more stabilized, I found that I still missed all the people and experiences I had in this hobby. I got involved again and as much as I bitch and moan about all the horse shit I have to deal with every now and again, it has truly been rewarding. I have had some of the best experiences and made some of my best friends through this hobby. And as much as I act like a cock sucker, understand I'm just trying to preserve something.

Nerf Haven came from a desire to escape the idiocy of Nerf Online. This is not something I experienced. When I joined, Nerf Haven was already in full swing and Nerf Online was almost completely down. I walked into a utopia of intellectual and serious talk about Nerf guns. Which sounds ridiculous now, but at the time was very much the headspace in which I existed. I was lucky. I had found a large group of like mind individuals, although very separate in terms of maturity. At the same time I joined NHQ, which I felt was vastly inferior, but I wanted so desperately to take part in the conversation that even I endured that awful place. Without much thought I accepted a moderation role under the Nerf Wars section I think. I'm almost positive it was that, but honestly, I can't really remember. After doing a good job there and being influential among the staff I became an Admin. Which was even harder.

The staff at the time was very active and did not see eye to eye. I looked to Nerf Haven for inspiration. I really liked what they had going over there. A no bullshit mentality coupled by a fuck off if you can't handle it attitude. Those are the environments I strive in. I wanted to bring some of that to NHQ. I wanted it to be the on the softer side, but I saw an opportunity for members to mature all the while doing something retarded like playing with Nerf guns in public. It's a stupid thing to attain to, but it's still what I believe although I'll never admit it again after this article. I just enjoyed the peace that seemed to exist at Nerf Haven. The peace that comes with a dictatorship that stays within it's boarders. It's all the fun of "join or die" without the murder and dipping guys into buckets of shit after whipping their legs (look it up kids, that shit happened in history). Needless to say this idea is pure bat shit insane and does not work. And the staff at NHQ made that very clear, so I toned it down a lot.

Meanwhile, I was at whits end. I couldn't take the constant pussy bullshit that I was putting up with. I banned a kid because he had harassed a female teenage member of the board on her cell phone. I have no idea how it happened anymore, but we had one girl who posted regularly on the boards. Some dick head got her number somehow and began calling her a bunch. I banned the kid and did my best to collect what information I could to help her and her parents make it stop. It turned out to be a controversial decision and not to sling mud, but it was a fucking nightmare. I didn't know what to do. So I PM'd CXWQ, the founder and creator of Nerf Haven. I was already an active member on Nerf Haven because that's where all the wars and serious mods were posted. We started a dialogue about forum moderation that eventually lead to a job as administrator on Nerf Haven. I owe a lot of that to Vacc.

So what does this have to do with shit in a chinese embassy? Well frankly, I came to a very important realization today. Nerf is growing beyond any of our control. I did the math as to how many members we have waiting to join Nerf Haven and it far outweighs our current numbers. We literally have more people waiting to be validated than we have active members. Now remember a lot of these are spammers. A fucking lot. And a bunch of them are duplicate accounts. People who got banned and tried to rejoin. People who thought validation didn't go through (6 fucking times, you know how you are). And some people who joined but down right didn't actually give a fuck about being a member. So yeah, fuck those people. I don't have time to deal with those assholes and I don't have time to sift through spammers, idiots and all the scum that seem to scour the internet.

So I created a new policy. You send me an email with your human brain and a computer as a communication device why you want to join Nerf Haven. Therefore I can get a peak into your mind and your intentions to know that you truly wish to be part of an awesome community and are not in fact, and I'm using technical terms here, a fucking faggot retard. I know it's harsh and unkind, but if you've ever suffered the effects of a fucking faggot retard overpopulation, you'll understand what devistaiting effects it can have on one's psyche. So send me a god damn email and just be yourself. Cause if you are yourself I can sniff you assholes out.

Hugs and kisses forever,


Monday, March 07, 2005

Giga watt?

Anyone who gets the joke of the title is the biggest nerd alive. I'm right there with you, because I thought it up. Anyway, thanks for stopping by. First I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize for the brash post I made here against Janga. It was necessary, but Janga and I have a tumultuous relationship, I still love him. I've been trying to think up a new blog post for the past couple days, and again, it took a good conversation with Groove for me to come up with something really fun to talk about. Groove has been turning more and more into my muse lately, I'll have to get him drunk sometime or something. Anyway, I was thinking about the improvement and possible future Nerf could take and all of a sudden it hit me. We could be standing on a opportunity to see the wave of new guns, which would be almost an exact parallel to history. The reason we learn history is to understand what worked and what didn't so we could reproduce the good and avoid the bad. With that said I think the nerf community and the manufacturers alike could learn a valuable lesson and move our sport forward.

The joke in the title branches from the mispronunciation of the word prefix Giga in Back to the Future. They keep calling them Jigga watts, and then branching from my ever reluctant fascination with rap music proved what simply is the best and worst joke I've ever come up with. What the title is relevant to is the fact that we could be looking at the future of our game unfolding before our eyes.

In the last week we've seen some crazy stuff that's gone down which could potentially change our community forever, but will definitely make a big impact. First the re-instatement of Evil into the NHQ mod team, then Boltsnipers spring mag gun, and finally, Lanard has put out a new gun as well. What do all these events have in common with the future of Nerf? Everything.

I'll start off with the Evil part and make it short. When I left NHQ I was very worried. At the time I was getting a lot of critisms for disciplining members, and I was worried that the team was going to allow the newer guys and the over posters to run amok. Not saying anyone on the team is incompetent, but I had concerns. The team really washed their hands of me without so much as a good luck, which while highly insulting, gave me more of a scare of what the future had in store. Again, I'm not saying that the future was unclear, just that I had my own concern. With Evil in place, I know for a fact we have someone who cares too much for the community, which is what's really needed at the ground level, so we'll see what comes of it. I would really appreciate if no one would post comments on this, because my opinion of the situation is unimportant. The point is, the future of NHQ will continue, and it's vitality to the community will for sure be reserved. Please, let this one go.

More importantly, this week, we saw Boltsnipers gun. I have to say that I was a little disappointed in the response it garnered. I really thought we had a community that was inquisitive enough to see the potential in the system. Perhaps we're all so used to the complexity that is Boltsniper, that no one gave it another thought. Not me, I saw a design deep there that could change the face of nerf permanently. What I saw, was exactly what I've always dreamed off out of a nerf blaster. For those of you who didn't get it, think of it this way. What you have is a breach gun really. In his case, he puts a mag in the breach which feeds shells to a chamber that will fire into the barrel. That's astounding that he came up with that, but for a Nerf war, it's rather impractical. Who really has time to fumble around with Mags and shells? I'm not downgrading how amazing his design was, I'm just thinking practically about it. So if you take away the mag, you have a breach, bolt, plunger and trigger. The simplest of Nerf design. The biggest difference is the bolt. I realized while looking at the videos that the Bolt was the plunger tube. So what happens is you push the bolt back which also pushes back the plunger, allowing it the hit the catch. You now have a breach between the bolt (aka plunger tube) and the barrel. This allows you to load a dart into the back of the barrel. Then you move the bolt forward which charges the gun. The plunger is now at the back of the tube and when you pull the trigger, it moves forward, forcing the dart out of the barrel.

It's a spring gun, and works just like our coupler breaches, only there's no coupler. You get to load the dart in the back of the gun without having to fumble with the barrel and make sure it's straight. This not only speeds up the reload time, but it also allows for a more natural movement. Frankly, it's just like the crossbow only increases the rate of fire. This is what I've personally always wanted. A single shot gun that would allow for one movement of charging the gun and putting the next dart in place. It takes out a whole step of reloading. Before we had to prime the gun, remove the barrel, load the dart and then replace the barrel, making sure it was straight. With this design, we prime the gun, load the dart, close the breach. Now that may not seem like a big deal, but if you've ever really nerfed, and you know if you've ever really nerfed, you'll know that that simple process of removing the barrel and replacing it while trying to make sure the barrel is straight literally means whether you're going to take a hit or not.

What I hope to see is that if one of the manufacturers don't pick up the design, we work on a homemade version in the community that we can make sure fires at a moderate level, so we could actually use it in a war. Best case senario, one of the manufacturers picks up on this design. While I was thinking about this, it dawned on me. I've been saying for a while that the X bow has been M1 of nerf. If we could get a rifle sized gun that does what BoltSniper has accomplished, we've seen the our M1 become obsolete for our M14. I know that will be a controversial statement, but so was the idea of decommisioning the actual M1. History speaks for itself.

So days go by and we see something interesting pop up on Ebay. Lanard it seems has put out a new gatling gun. Not only that, but there is rumors that it's spring powered. A spring powered, multibarreled gun could pretty much be the best gun ever made. I can't decide for certain until I can see it, use it and take it apart. What this would be doing though is taking the 3k, which has been almost our SMG of the game, and improving it. I can't speak to much about it, because I haven't seen the gun, but again I saw a link to history.

The Thompson for years was our SMG of choice. Problem was that it was expensive and problematic. There were a lot of moving parts, and a lot of things to go wrong. This is somewhat like the 3k. It's airpowered, which automatically makes it really buggy. Anything running on air power could leak at any moment for no particular reason. The way the military dealt with a problematic gun, was making a simpler one. The M3 otherwise known as the Grease Gun was made to take the place of the Thompson. So to make a long story short, the SL could be our communities next step for gatling type guns.

This is all just random thoughts, take them for what you will. I really do see that history could be showing us something, and we could be moving forward in nerf technology. I hope that with this we may be able to bring new players into the fold and keep the sport alive.


Sunday, February 20, 2005

Here comes the clue train, next stop is you.

So it seems I have a little competition from one of my statements that was abundantly important to the entire article. So because of that, I need to lay down some good ole reality on Janga. I'd hate to do this to you Janga, but you're calling me out on my own blog. You act like I don't actually think this shit out. Anyway, a couple of point were made so my thesus is basically that Janga is wrong and has no clue what he's talking about.

"The Max Shot may have more pieces in general, but it has about the same number of moving ones... Plunger, check. Trigger, check. Catch, check; and I wouldn't know about the safety because I disabled that in mine. The only difference is that the handle is attached to the plunger in the Xbow. On the Max Shot, the handle rolls along the plunger. This piece is indeed known to breaking, but only about as often as I've heard of Xbow plunger rods breaking."

First off, you disabled the safety, so that takes away about 3 moving parts right off the bat, and right off the bat, it's more complicated and has more parts that have the potential of breaking. So you disable the safety from this to happen, great. You've still got two more moving parts that can break, and they do on a regular basis, well then if you took that time to dsable the safety, you can take the time to re-enforce your plunger rod. So now we've got a Maxshot with the safety disabled (and note that if you fire it with the arm up, you're gun is ruined, don't believe me try it. Warning about that, remember they're not in stores anymore and the gun will be broken pretty bad.) and we have a Crossbow with a re-enforced plunger head. Your's is known to break, but a re-enforced plunger head never breaks. Wierd, seems that your arguement really didn't take into consideration actual reality of the situation.

"And if your counterpoint is that the word is "dead" not "broken" Xbows vs Max Shots, remember that plunger breaks are a pain in the ass to fix, and all you need to do to bypass the handle on the Max Shot is attach a string. I've done this, and a few other Nerfers have as well."

Yeah, and I'll tell you, it's a pain in the ass and a tough as hell pull on that string. Also, since when is a plunger break a pain in the ass to fix? If the top part where the plunger attaches breaks, just srew from the top down, or you could use wall mount screws to take of it. If it's a break mid way, then all you need are some rods and epoxy to hold it togehter. Hold on...did we already do that. Oh right, it takes the same ammount of work to enforce your plunger as it does to disable the safety I almost forgot. So again, there is no broken plunger, whats the problem?

"And as far as the NF vs LnL simplicity, that seems like even more of a stretch. You've got the exact same mechanisms working there. Strip out the electronics and the air restriction and the only difference is the size of the LnL plunger tube."

Hmm, lets see. Same exact system, except one has some more electronics and air restriction. So they're pretty much the same gun, but one is just slightly more complexed then the other. You know, If I think real hard I think I remember someone else who made that point.

" I would put the LNL slightly above the Nitefinder, but only because again, of simplicity."

Oh yeah, that was me. I almost forgot. Way to call my opinion a stretch and then state the exact same thing retard!

"I respect the message you're trying to send, and I agree with it to some extent. For instance, I can't stand the Ballzooka since all of mine have broken. My other ball blasters are working fine. Anyways, great topic Talio."

Now, I need to clarify and move on with this post, becuase there is a larger point that needs to be made. Janga and I are friends, but we go through this alot. I try not to critize Janga, but for his place in the community, he doesn't play nearly enough. I'm not saying he needs to have 20 man wars with super modified weapons, I'm saying he should get out and play more then a few times a year, especially when you take into effect that the way he normally plays, which while is fun, is also outragously convienent.

Thats what it comes down to folks. This is a sport. We're all here to play and make sure someone else is playing. Thats all there is to it. There's absolutetly no reason to be in a community or modify guns unless you are going to use them. What we have now are sites full of nothing more then trolls. Guys that post just to post. I don't get it. Why be on a Nerf board unless you nerf? Is it really difficult?

I think the biggest flaw in Janga's arguement here is his pure emotion. Crossbows are still kind of rare to the point where they are somewhat expensive. However, they are availible now, and I know from the point of view of a new nerfer, it's nice to have a really simple primary, that will never fail you, is easy to mod and can pretty much match anything anyone throws at you. The nice thing about the crossbow, is no matter how hard you push yourself in a round, it will always be there giving just a tad bit more effort. This is something you will never understand unless you carry it into battle. Getting it home and opening it up, you see that the design is perfect except for a few re-enforcements that need to be made. Those are simple mods and you're left with just about the best and clearly the most reliable gun you can have. Unless you nerf regularly, you won't see that. So don't post any comments to this unless you've been carrying a crossbow for over a year. Janga, just a note, I have, and have used other guns in between, I always come back the bow, and for good reason. It's the M1 of Nerf.

In conclusion, would you all please play? Just a little. Without playing you will lose interest and excitement that you once had. Without getting out and playing you won't know what it's truely like to love nerf. Unless you play, you can't call yourself a nerfer. Simple as that. You can play unmodded and still be a nerfer, but you can just mod and get away with it. I now understand Nike's slogan....

Just do it.


I'd do anything. Anything? Anything, for you!

Well, been a damn long time since I posted. I guess I should explain that. First off, it's winter and as a nerfer with what now has become a full time job time constraints are evident. However, I am here and have some commentary on the happenings in Nerf over the past month when the community seems to go absolutely ape shit. What it does provide is a chance for us to collect our thoughts and spend a few more hours in the garage. So without further ado, here are winters nerf headlines.

This Christmas I got myself an N strike. I really have mixed feelings on this thing, and it goes all they way back to last January when I watched the head designer for Nerf whip out the Titan prototype. I mean, don't get me wrong, had this been 10 years ago when I was using spring loaded plastic suction cup shooters we picked up at the grocery store for 3 bucks, I'd just about cream myself at the sight of this thing. However now, it's different. Now I'm asking a lot from Hasbro. I'm basically asking them to make something better then the Crossbow, but I'll come back to this.

My feelings about the N strike, as I said, vary. On the one hand, it is a pretty neat gun. I fooled around with it in my back yard, had a couple of friends fuck around with it, shot it around at work with one of the interns on a Saturday when the building is empty and I do feel that if I was still 100% straight edge unmodded Nerfer that this thing would be spectacular. It has a lot of neat features that we as modders take for granted. The pressure gauges, the integrated triggers, different set ups and combos all with their own functions. It's an extremely versatile gun. However, for our purposes as modders, this thing is basically useless.

The Titan shows the most promise out of the three of the guns, but man, it's just scary powerful. I tried nerfing it, but at that point, there's no use. It requires a barrel replacement, which for me is a buzz kill. I like seeing what I can do with the gun without having to add a new barrel. Once you do that then you might as well go the whole nine, and if you're going the whole nine then you basically have the best long range single shot sniper around. Yes, I know, I used the S word, but if there is one gun that warrants sniper tactics it's this one.

You get one shot before you just have to run away and you need to do it at a great distance. It also has that thing on it that looks like actual sights (which by the way, with it unmodded at a close range where almost accurate, bravo Hasbro.) This doesn't mean I would allow it at any war. It's really pushing the limits of Nerf, and personally, I'm not big on pushing limits when it throws off the delicate balance of the game. Once we have one gun that's accurate within 100 feet, we'll start allowing others that can do that. The titan is an off the shelf homemade it's so powerful. Once we start getting into this range, it's no longer Nerf. Nerf is all about putting some hurt down on your buddy from 15 feet away, or doing something so ridiculous and outrageous on the field that it actually works. Nerf is charging a flag yelling "FREEDOM!" Nerf is quoting movies about brothers who kill off the wicked and then shooting a new member of your clan in the back of the head. This is what makes Nerf unique. If we're going to be shooting at each other from those ranges, let's just give up and go play paintball.

Last thing I'm going to say about the N strike is that I think all in all it's a pretty neat gun, however, I just haven't had much energy to mod it. I cut cap off my titan, and I've got that missile shooting around 60 feet flat. Lead and angled it cleared 90. I was really impressed. I think I'll take it with me to March war and use it during siege for shits and giggles. The scout just seems like silly engineering. I'm sure they have a great reason for doing it, I just think it's stupid. Guess they really want that top sliding mech. I hope someone figures out how to get some usefulness out of this thing, cause it doesn't look like Hasbro is going to be changing any time soon. I will hand it to them, it looks cool, but from the point of view of someone who actually plans on using these things, it seems dumb. The hornet is just too complexed for my taste. Too many things to go wrong, I'll pass.

I also picked up a Maverick and have some things to say about it. First off, the name struck me as weird. Look up the word maverick sometime and let the gears in your head run. Can't put my finger on it, but there's just something odd about calling this thing a dissenter. Either way, it really doesn't matter and for someone who doesn't over analyze everything, it's a pretty cool name. Definitely beats the Titan, Hornet and Scout.

My first impressions of this gun were good. It's a god damn hand cannon for one thing. My god, they made this for 6 year olds? Second, someone on that design team is a Dirty Harry fan, no doubt in my mind. (45 magnum. Most powerful hand gun in the world. So you have to ask yourself, 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya? Punk?) When it comes down to it, I opened the box and had some very boyish moments. I couldn't believe how friggin cool this gun was, and how simple the turning mech was. I couldn't believe it moved on trigger pull. I didn't care how it worked at the moment, this thing was just pure genius.

Then I opened it up. Things changed a bit in my mind. I was disappointed to see what literally is the smallest plunger tube I've ever seen. And I used to open up those dollar store guns on occasion. I mean this thing practically doesn't exist. Not to mention they're still using this dumb sliding mechanism which I can't figure out past the sliding priming is cool. Just like the N strike, this thing is all a matter of perception. I tried my best to mod it. I found it couldn't handle a larger spring, nor a spring stretch. Perhaps if I had used some epoxy putty on it to make a place to keep the whole system from being pushed forward, but everytime I strengthened the spring, it would add resistance onto the turret, which made the turrets functionality hit or miss. I will say this, the turret system is pure genius. I cannot believe this thing works so well. My god why couldn't they have made this an airgun?!

After a whole night of modding, I gave up and it's still sitting on my work bench. Perhaps someday I'll give it another shot, but for the time being, I'm buying another because unmodded, this thing is fun as hell to play with and really accurate. I like the gun, but as far as using it in wars go, I'm not really interested.

So with me picking up brand new guns for the first time in months, it got me thinking. What is it that makes a good mod gun? I thought about a few of the greats. Here's a list of the what I think the best nerf guns to date are:

Nite Finder

I think with those 6 guns you have everything you need for the rest of your life. So what makes these guns better then the N strike line? This was not an easy question. I couldn't say power, Christ, the Titan has an abundance of it. I couldn't say cool features, because anyone who could effectively use an N Strike on the field, and I'm talking like Boba Fett style, can use crazy shit gagdets completely effectively because he's super 1337 and knows exactly how to use that gun, that guy could just about clean up a group of hell cannon toating Nerfers. Lets face facts though, we all have lives and don't have time to train ourselves to use a gun like that.

That's when it hit me. Think about the US military and the weapons they've used since WW2. You basically have the M1, M14 and M16. There were tons of other weapons out there that could have been used, however, these simple rifle designs were chosen by the United States military and have proven themselves to be highly efficient and effective guns. However to say that automatically answers the question. Simplicity. The US military picks weapons that are simple to use and maintain. Think about the SMG case in WW2. We had the Thompson, which was a great gun, but horribly complexed to break down, had lots of moving parts, and was really expensive to build. So what did they do? Made the Grease Gun, aka M 40. It was simple. The thing was stamped metal and cost 15 bucks to make, while the Thompson cost a couple of hundred bucks.

So it dawned on me. Other then the at3k, which after opening up I realized everyone was making far to big of a deal about the complexity, those other guns are about as simple in design as it gets. Think about the crossbow. 3 moving parts. Trigger, Catch and plunger, that's it. Ever take a maxshot apart? Care to count the moving parts? Care to count dead Maxshots vs. Dead crossbows? I've never heard of a dead crossbow. Hell look at what Wask was able to do with one that had a huge part cut out of it's side. It's a work horse.

The Nitefinder and LNL. I would put the LNL slightly above the Nitefinder, but only because again, of simplicity. Three moving parts still.

As far as airguns go, the AT2k and 1500, which for all intensive purposes is the same gun, are simple as well. If you take care of it, and get luckily by getting a good valve and pump, you've basically got again, three moving parts. Pump, trigger, valve pin. Very little to go wrong. And if something does go wrong, you can figure out what it is rather quickly.

The AT3k of course is less then simple, but everything is screwed in, so I don't see the big deal. What's nice about it is merely getting 6 shots and only having to pump to fire the next one. What makes the 3k cool is that it did this effectively with a still simple design, that makes sense when you look at it. I was able to dissemble the thing and put it back together with not too much trouble. They were also able to do it and keep it at the perfect size for a nerf gun. So while this one may hinder my theory of simplicity, for what this gun does, they kept it suprisingly simple. I'm really glad to see it's been released again, maybe I'll give another shot at modding it. I really like that gun.

To conclude this article, I'd really like to issue a challenge to all of you I did in December. Spring is coming and the year is young. If you are reading this, and are currently active on a Nerf board, NH or NHQ, you have a duty to yourself and those who will come after you to get out and play this year. I want to see 2005 the year that the Nerf community was increasingly active. I want to hear war stories, see pictures. For god sakes, get out of the box. You don't need 20 people to have a kick ass Nerf war. I'm going to really try to lead this front. I want to see guys learning to make darts and mod their guns. Then I want to see them hit the streets and knock the living hell out of one another. Hell, maybe I'll even make up a few mod write ups with pictures to aid this. Who knows? Either way, I'll quote my good friends CXWQ and Vacc here.

Nerf on or fuck off, and for god sakes....SHOOT SOMETHING!


Saturday, December 18, 2004

Good Golly Miss Molly!

Holy fence post, December sucks. If you've been around the Nerf Community the last month or so, you'll realize things are dead, just damn dead. I figure it must be due to the weather or that the holiday season is coming up. I know for college students it's finals time and that there are other stresses that go along with it. My excuse? I work at an investment bank over Christmas.

I've been thinking about the firing properties of a Nerf gun compared to real life weapons. I know we do a lot of thinking about guns. I know most of my day is taken up by thinking about them in all shapes and sizes. They're fun, and I think I've figured out why. First off they're heavy, loud and expensive which all fall under the "kick ass" category. I know Ipods and handheld stuff is popular right now, but give me something that weighs 40 lbs, makes lots and lots of noise and allows me to pine after it in lust for three months over any of these sissy computer bullshit perpetuals you people buy. If only you all knew just how much they really cost to make. Guns are cool, and you can't keep your whinny emo music on it, pussy.

So I'll be fair and say that it's tempting to try to make Nerf guns simulate reality. Hell I still have to have ten minutes of bathroom "alone time" after I see a Tippman A5 decked out like an M4. It's cool looking. However, attempting to simulate real weapons with Nerf guns is just as useless as that decked out A5 to a normal paintball player. We all need to face facts that a Nerf gun shoots nothing like a real gun, and is in no way similar. No matter how much we attempt to get there, it will never happen. Instead of working to try to makes guns into what you want them to be, why not spend that time working to improve the guns performance and your own actions when using the gun.

Lets put this into perspective for a second. Take the AT2k. Excellent weapon, one of the best, but I see all these people trying to add stocks to it. Why? It doesn't kick (not even forward), it's the lightest gun you can use, and it really shouldn't be hard to stabilize. If your having problems aiming with it, your probably not using it right. I've heard more whining about the size of the gun, while I who have massive banana hands have found a way to wield it comfortably and effectively.

Quick Tutorial:

Step 1: Stop whining pussy!

Step 2: Hold your weak hand out in front of you with your palm face up.

Step 3: take the gun and place the bottom of the gun (the area under the pump and in front of the handle), this hand will never leave that spot, ever.

Step 4: With your dominate hand, pump the gun. Make sure your weak hand does not leave where you put it.

Step 5: Gently grip the handle with your dominate hand, aim and pull the trigger

I'll get to aiming in a second. What your doing here is using your weak hand to hold and stabilize the gun, rather then allowing your dominate hand which is used to grip the handle (gently) and pull the trigger. Really all you want to use your dominate hand for is using the trigger and pumping. Never ever take your weak hand from the gun. This way, you can always stabilize and not have to worry about the small handle. Don't believe me? Give it a try and ask anyone at the DC wars if my way works.

Aiming. Now like I said, most people don't know how to aim a Nerf gun. You may be able to hit a cup from about 20 feet off while it's sitting still, but when you get on the field and actually have to shoot something, most people don't know their trigger finger from their asshole. First off, lock your elbows to your sides. and bring the gun high up right below your chin. Now peer over the gun to aim. Problem with a 2k is that it will never be spring gun accurate. Your always going to get a crazy shot and your always going to get different consistencies of fire. Anyone who says differently is just being an elitist ass. The difference is the amount of air and intesity greatly varies. Unlike spring guns where almost every shot is consistant. This isn't bad, but it means when aiming the thing, your going to have to leave some room for error, which is fine cause you have three other shots. So while peering over the gun, use the entire turret to help you aim. There's no magic to this, you just have to spend some time shooting the gun to see where the darts will hit in comparison to what you were looking at while aiming. Some use the top barrel, I personally find it's easier to think of the entire turret as one big barrel, that way you'll be able to see that the dart could really hit anywhere in that area. Also, while aiming at another player, I wouldn't try shooting for limbs. Leave this gun to torso and headshots, everything else, your going to be praying.

So as you can see, Nerf doesn't fire like rifles. You really just have to fire your gun a bunch to know the consistency of your accuracy and firing potential. Seeing as every modified gun is a little different, it's important to really give yourself some time if you want to be truly successful.

I have to give Uriel some credit because much of this was discussed with him last night, so for today, he's pretty much been my muse. Spelling and grammar are probably horrible, if it's really bad, email me @ and I'll do my best to fix it up. I figure you can probably figure out at least what I'm saying on your on.


Sunday, December 05, 2004

No girls aloud!....wait.

Alright guys, I asked Karma to write this up after having a little discussion with my good friend Groove, so I have to give him mad props for thinking up the idea. The idea is how interesting would it be to get some honest thoughts about what it's like to be a female nerfer. They are few and far between, but none has had the resilance as BK, and I'd love to see her to be one of the first perminent members on this blog. So let me stop and let her use her own words.

" As most of you know I’m the only hardcore female nerfer in the nerfing community. With that come advantages and disadvantages. When I had first heard about nerf from Suave, I thought he was joking. Until one day when Suave and JC finally got me to nerf. What can I say, I liked it, I liked it a lot. The ability to shoot your friends and them be ok with it was a blessing from god. Not only that, but I also really loved the fact that I could make my own ammo, build my own guns, and put a little personality and touch in every gun that I modded. As for me being the only girl so far, that’s not unusual for me. It isn’t easy I’ll tell you that.
When I first started out nerfing it was just with the people here in Alabama, so I didn’t feel quite as much of the sexiest tension like I felt when I came to NHQ. I honestly wanted to get involved in the community, but I also knew that it would hard, with me being a girl, to get the respect that I wanted. I remember when people started finding out that I was a girl. I didn’t want to rub it in anyone’s face, but I also wanted people to know that,"Hey, I’m a girl and I can be taken seriously as well." Unfortunately, I stayed in the "off topic" where I was more comfortable. At that point I still didn’t know a lot about modding and homemades, so I would go, read, learn, and apply what I had learned quietly. Because I didn’t state what I had leaned to the community, I at first came across as a dizzy, dumb, female who was interested because there where a bunch of guys. That just naturally came with the fact that everyone found out that I was a girl…because no girl had ever attempted to nerf and be as good or BETTER then the boys. I wanted to change all of that. So, I finally came out of my shell a little, but that came with a price.
Some of you guys have PMed or AIMed me asking me why I haven’t posted a picture of myself. Here is why. In the first yearbook, JC had posted a picture of me, with my consent. Well, ATB had taken that picture and photoshoped some sexual jokes on my t-shirt. I was taken back; here I had thought that I had some respect established. Finally taking me somewhat seriously…and that is what they really thought about me…a “nerf bunny”, like one of those girls you see in the paintball magazines that are hardly wearing any cloths and have probably never gotten shot before. I didn’t want to be like that. I didn’t want to be the “Poster Girl” of nerf. I just wanted to Nerf, and be thought of as a Nerfer, not a “Nerf Poster Girl”.
After everything was taken care of, he apologized and we had moved on. I started taking a more serious roll. Engaging in more intelligent and intellectual topics. Showing the smarter, more mature side to me. Also, at this time, I personally had had some major growth in maturity. So I scored points with the older crowed with my endless yearning for knowledge; And for my patience and ability to close arguments. Well, some just like the fact that I could “own” people, haha.
So everything in little BK’s world was ok, right? WRONG! Once again, the male race proved how much of a horny ass it could be. When a dude by the name of Forgotten Hero had come back to the forums after being banned for reason that aren’t important right now. Got my cell number and called me. That wouldn’t have been so bad if it wasn’t for the fact that he had made some bad sexual remarks about me in his sig. on NHQ. The only people to this day who know what he had said were Talio and Spanky. They said that they would not tell me what it was for my sake. So I left it at that, and a big thanks to Talio and Spanky for looking out for me.
Ok, I’ve explained that not only have I had to put up with the fact that guys are jerks, but I haven’t explained the hardship of having to prove myself, a girl, in game dominated by boys. So there was an added pressure. I felt like I was being watched closely, not because the guys where perverts, but because some felt that I wouldn’t be able to take the game as serious as the guys that I would somehow change it. Well I hope that I have proved them wrong, because the last thing I wanted was to be seen as doing is “sexing up nerf”. I hope that most of you by now have realized that I’m not into nerf because my boyfriend plays, or I wanted to get some hot guys…But that I truly love the game and that I just want to be part of the community. And get the respect I have worked hard for.
I know that there have been some other females that have come onto the board. But they haven’t stayed long. And they won’t, because most girls only do what the guys do for the guys. I do what guys do because I like to do what the guys do. So if you are hoping that I’ll leave and everything will get back the “All boy Club”…Better think again, Because BK’s not going anywhere. This may surprise some of you, but I love nerf, I love the Old School ways of nerf. And I appreciate those who have taught me the ways of this great game.
Nerf On my fellow Nerfers, Nerf On."

-Bad Karma, Dec. 2004

Friday, December 03, 2004

Playa's they play, and hustla's they hustle.

So with the coming of the holiday season, and a lot of really bad ass stuff in stores that are nerf related I wanted to take this opportunity to charge the community with a goal. What I want to see before then end of the month for everyone in some way, no matter how big or how small, find a way to nerf, if even for just an hour.

Lets face it people, Nerf might not be dying, but the general groups of guys who still play are falling significantly, day by day. I'm not saying you have to host Armageddon, or host anything, I'm just telling you to get a couple of nitefinders, set some rules, and shoot each other. There's a reason we spend these god awful ammounts of time making nerf guns, and while again, I have to accept that there is a group of people who label themselves nerfers because they put some plumbing supplies on their guns, it's no reason why we can't take these things we work so hard on, get one or two buddies together and actually play.

I know it's cold, suck it up pussies. Cold weather is better and you'll feel good putting the xbox controller down for a half hour to get some fresh air. I know everyone is cramped for time around the holidays, but all you have to do, is pick up a gun and shoot a buddy with it, and have him shoot back at you. Have a good time with it. There's lots of cool stuff in the stores right now, and I have to give some personal publicity to my hommie Jangadance for making this nuggest of gold.

So lets see some of you ask for this stuff for christmas, and before you even touch the internals or a screw driver, just dick around and shoot your buddy. If he has a good time, mod them, and shoot each other some more. Regaurdless, I leave you with the words of Vaccanelli himself....



Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Thanksgiving war damage report - Old school like a mother

So last Saturday was the NJ spring war, and besides a few snags here and there, coupled with the laziness that always seems to surround one or two members of the LCM, I had a really good time. Evil did a pretty good job putting together this thing, and ran it well. Thanks to him and the LCM for showing up.

As usually, the day was pretty much a pistolfest. The LCM seem to really be in love with these things, and while I do enjoy them, one more and I would have been begging for the day to end. It's more of a personal thing, I worked hard on my primary for this war, and we ended up doing only about half the day with primaries. I didn't really bitch about it, because the way I see it, it's their war, and I have no right to tell them how to run it. I have to face facts where if I ever get to a war where we run things differently, it's either on the Horsemen's field (which I throughly enjoy) or I'm running it (which I don't enjoy as much). All in All the parks open area's were actually set up pretty well for pistols...but anywhere they wanted to play primaries looked like Vietnam in the fall. I ended up using paintball tactics most of the day. Again, not saying any of this in spite...just not the way I like to do things.

None the less I had a good time. I ended up buying a pack of zero's from Hersh who is a dart pumping machine. All the LCM guys buy those things up cause it means they don't have to take two hours out of thier busy schedules and do something that might make their war run better. So the reason I bought the zero's is because people aren't very honest about whose darts they have at the Ocean County foam fests, and I used them as barder to get back my darts that would actually fire out of my guns.

Even after all this, my opinion of the LCM grew for some and lessened for others. One I will point out is that for the first time I got along with Mantis all day long. I found out that as long as I'm a little more relaxed and not running things (because that just naturally makes me more annoyed), he's a good guy. I never thought poorly of him, we just rubbed each other the wrong way.

I do want to say one thing though I very much disagree with. Arguements. First off, their fucking stupid. Second of all, if your going to argue and get shot while your argueing, shut the fuck up and take it like a man. I really hate this "time out" thing where if something does go in a players way, he can just stop and expect not to get hit. Well, guess what? It doesn't really work that way...I've argued and been hit, and I wasn't a whinny ass about it, I took the hit and moved on with my life.

Now for the good shit that happened. First off, I was digging the old school feel. I was scoffed at many times, but did better with it then I did with the old crossbow. The only times I flat out missed I deserved to, and the other times were miss fires from shitty darts. The crossbow performed well, and my LNL did even better.

We did a siege round that wasn't bad, except we got cut short, and it seemed like the guys on the playground were getting taken down quick due to the massive wooden fence surrounding it, so next time, we might need to refine the rules a bit. No cops showed which was a miricale considering how many people were around.

All in all, old school was a sucess, and I urge more of you to give it a shot. Sooner or later I'll post pictures of my guns and some stuff I did to them. In the mean time, remember to keep it tuned here, to the first and original Nerf Blog. I'm looking to get some new writers on our staff and possibly some new artwork.